In order to be resilient, we have to be able to embrace our vulnerable self, that part of us that feels exposed and raw. In our culture, vulnerability equates with being weak. As women, we want to be perceived as strong, – that we can know it and do it all-. In reality, we can’t control everything and most of our efforts to pretend that all is all right are not sustainable for too long.
I often speak to professional women either in groups or in one on one settings. It is common to hear about how they juggle daily to fulfill their different roles, particularly, when fulfilling the demands of family and work. I remember when my daughters were young and I had a challenging full-time job. I needed my husband and my extended family to support me when I could not make it to their school recitals, take them to the doctor and more. Then when I divorced, I became a single mother with no access to my extended family. It was hard. I used to spend hours figuring out how to manage the week ahead. On one side I wanted to be strong, in another, I was vulnerable even when I didn’t admit it.
Learning to embrace vulnerability is like a muscle that requires repetition and practice in order to strengthen. We were born vulnerable. It took many years of childbearing to gain our abilities to become self-sufficient. Then we learned to guard and protect ourselves shooting the doors to the susceptible side of us.
My invitation is that you open those doors to your real self. It is ok to feel vulnerable. It is ok to be fully who you’re meant to be. When you acknowledge your vulnerability, you can ask for help. Others will feel blessed for the opportunity to assist you and you will grow stronger and more resilient.